The authors thank Jack Stade, who suggested the proof approach for Theorem 3; Pranay Gorantla, who found and alerted us to the Meyer-Reisner (theorem Theorem 2); Yannai Gonczarowski for careful reading of an earlier draft with extremely helpful feedback; Justin Chan for numerous suggestions that improved readability; the anonymous reviewers at both Management Science and EC 2023; Paul Gölz, Gregory Kehne, Prashanth Amireddy, Elizabeth Pratt, and Santhoshini Velusamy, who also consulted on Theorem 3; and David Eppstein, who consulted on Theorem 4.